The importance of being independant

So I've been thinking of my next personal post and wondered what to focus on. There's a lot that's happened in my life over the last few months. I lost something I thought would be forever and made some huge changes in my life. But after so much time being miserable and making myself unwell over the situation I questioned why I was dwelling on something that no longer bought me happiness or motivated me to be something. It was then I realised, you shouldn't have to rely on anyone to get where you want to be. I am a firm believer of what's meant to be, will be. But realistically, if you don't get off your arse and go get something how can you complain if it never happens?

From a young age, I've always enjoyed my own company. I have no issue spending time on my own and having no contact with anyone for a few days. I know for a lot of people, this isn't the case. They need the attention and company of other people all day everyday. But is spending every minute with someone else really healthy for you? You need to know what you want without the temptation of what others want. Which is why I've decided to write about the importance of being independent, of being selfish, of doing something because it's what you want to do. 

I spent so long trying to make the people around me happy, by doing what they wanted me to do or saying what they want me to hear. It may be great to give someone that feeling, and I'm not saying not to do it, but what use is it when it has no meaning to you? The rest of this year is going to be about me, about finding myself (cliche I know) and being selfish with what I do and who I spend my time with. Time is so precious, why would you waste it being around people who don't value your worth. From now on, if you're not bettering me, motivating me or making an effort to be in my life. I'll be holding the door open for you on your way out. Just remember, you don't owe anyone anything.

Now I'm not saying I'm not going to care about people. That is a trait I'm definitely going to stick with. My friends and families happiness means just as much to me as my own, but I'm not going to spend so long trying to make people happy if I'm not truly happy with myself. Like the famous saying goes, how can you expect someone to love you if you can't love yourself. And it is so true, you can spend so long trying to be something that you lose who you really are. I became so afraid of having nothing I was willing to be constantly upset just to have it. And looking back, it was unhealthy for me to think that way, no one wants to be around someone who is miserable all the time. 

I look back on the situations I've experience before and realise how much better I've come out the other side. Heart break, loss or rejection is all terrible at the time, but it's all a learning curve. You make yourself promises about the 'next time' or have stronger morals for the future. You fight a little bit harder in the next interview or spend the little bit extra on the bag you really want. Like I've spoken about in a post before, the people who want to be in your life will make it very clear and do everything in their power to stay there, and the people who don't are a lesson. Like Lauren Conrad said, forgive them and forget them (for you Jess).

I know this post has been a bit of a ramble but I just hope it makes some people out there realise their worth. I want you to realise how much you deserve and go fight for what you want. Don't regret things, learn from them and move on. Make friends, make memories and make mistakes. But always stay truthful and trust yourself. For now, I'm just enjoying the journey and looking after my friends and family, but most importantly myself. Like I always say, if you treat me good, I'll always treat you better..

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